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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28466433">The Magic of Yelling at Spitelout</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleybenlove/pseuds/ashleybenlove'>ashleybenlove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Ashley's Banned Together Bingo 2020 Fics [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(I'm including abuse related tags since it is present in the fic and in the source material), Astrid Hofferson - Freeform, Bad Parents, Banned Together Bingo, Character Death, Child Abuse, Fishlegs Ingerman - Freeform, Gen, Gobber the Belch - Freeform, Humor, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Ruffnut Thorston - Freeform, Snotlout Jorgenson - Freeform, Spitelout Jorgenson Bashing, Spitelout Jorgenson Being an Asshole, Stoick the Vast Haddock - Freeform, Telling Someone To Die, The Golden Girls inspired, This fic is more humor than anything, Trials, Tuffnut Thorston - Freeform, Yelling at Parent or Guardian, accused of murder, accused of witchcraft, toothless - Freeform, we hate spitelout fanclub</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:34:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28466433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleybenlove/pseuds/ashleybenlove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiccup yells at Spitelout to do something and he does it! Also, Hiccup gets tried for murder and witchcraft!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Ashley's Banned Together Bingo 2020 Fics [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839256</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Banned Together Bingo 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Magic of Yelling at Spitelout</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was written for Banned Together Bingo 2020 for the space: “Yelling at Parent or Guardian".</p><p>This takes place after Race to the Edge. </p><p>This fic is based off a scene in The Golden Girls season 2 episode <b>It’s A Miserable Life</b> written by Barry Fanaro and Mort Nathan where Rose yells at someone to “drop dead”, and then the person does. <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0589764/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl">IMDB summary for the episode.</a></p><p>Shoutout to flurbejurbvondurp for suggesting the twins have magic related Hiccup opinions, and to trash-aged-like-fine-wine who suggested the witchcraft and trial stuff <a href="https://ashleybenlove.tumblr.com/post/638265688294883328/lol-i-just-had-the-wildest-idea-for-the-yelling">in this post</a>, both of which I used.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Upon seeing Spitelout walk into the Great Hall, Hiccup growled under his breath, which attracted the attention of both Toothless and Astrid, who were sitting closest to him.</p><p>Toothless looked up at Hiccup, while Astrid said, “Did you just growl?” There was a pause and then she said, “Oh.”</p><p>It was no secret to Astrid that Hiccup had absolutely no affection for Spitelout. This was a tribesman he deeply disliked. Hated even. Yeah, hated was a great word to put it.</p><p>“What?” Snotlout asked from across the table.</p><p>“Nothing,” Hiccup said gently.</p><p>“Ah, boyo, there you are!” Spitelout exclaimed, when he finally reached their table.</p><p>Hiccup growled under his breath again. Astrid could feel Hiccup tense at Spitelout being here.</p><p>Astrid saw Snotlout tense and her own dislike of Spitelout made her breathe out hard through her nose like a very angry dragon.</p><p>“Hi, dad,” Snotlout said, nervously.</p><p>“Boyo, come sit with the Jorgensons. You should be sitting with your clan!” Spitelout exclaimed.</p><p>And then Spitelout placed his hand heavily but briefly on Snotlout’s shoulder.</p><p>Hiccup growled, loudly. Enough that he was heard.</p><p>Not enough that Spitelout made a note of that.</p><p>Snotlout said nervously, “No, thanks, dad. I’m already eating with my friends.”</p><p>Spitelout scoffed.</p><p>“Nonsense,” Spitelout said. “You can come sit with your family!”</p><p>Spitelout put his hand on Snotlout’s shoulder again.</p><p>“Hey, asshole!” Hiccup exclaimed, finally having enough. He said it quite loudly, not caring that everyone in the Hall would be able to hear him.</p><p>“Yeah, you,” Hiccup said, directly to Spitelout. He even pointed sharply at Spitelout. “First of all, remove your hand from Snotlout’s shoulder. Now.”</p><p>He said this forcefully, sharply, and a growl was very apparent.</p><p>During the pause while Hiccup waited for Spitelout to remove his hand, he noticed that the Hall’s general noise level had decreased. Spitelout removed his hand and then placed it on his own chest.</p><p>Finally, Hiccup spoke again, “Why don’t you listen to your child properly for a change? He said he didn’t want to sit with your sorry excuse for a parent. Snotlout is perfectly fine sitting with a group of people who love and accept him for who he is. And if you don’t like that, you can just drop dead. Leave us.”</p><p>Spitelout looked shocked by this, but started to walk away. Hiccup had begun to continue to eat his meal when there was a loud crash and sounds of gasping nearby. He noticed the twins (who flanked Snotlout on the other side of the table) shoot up immediately at this.</p><p>Hiccup saw his own father rush over to the spot causing the commotion.</p><p>“What happened?” Hiccup asked.</p><p>“You know when you told Spitelout to drop dead?” Tuffnut asked.</p><p>“Yeah?” Hiccup said.</p><p>“I think he did!” Tuffnut exclaimed, sounding very enthusiastic about the whole thing.</p><p>“Bro, I told you! Hiccup is a wizard!” Ruffnut exclaimed. This was said far too loudly.</p><p>“Shh!” Fishlegs said.</p><p>“Guys, shut up!” Astrid said, sharply.</p><p>“Spitelout Jorgenson is dead!” Stoick announced, projecting his voice loud enough for the whole Hall to hear him.</p><p>Hiccup was suddenly aware of a whole village’s worth of people staring at him. Hiccup could have sworn he heard polite clapping.</p><p>“Well done, lad!” someone shouted. “He was a jerk!”</p><p>“Stoick, your son is a wizard!” another person exclaimed.  </p><p>“Uh, that was a coincidence!” Hiccup exclaimed.</p><p>“Mm hmm,” Tuffnut said, but said in a way that was humoring Hiccup and not believing him.</p><p>“Shut up, Tuffnut!” Astrid whispered.</p><p>“Are we supposed to have a trial for this?” someone asked.</p><p>“I mean, we’re all already here!” exclaimed another one.</p><p>Toothless made a questioning noise at Hiccup, as if asking him, “Hey, do you wanna flee? You kinda look like you wanna flee.”</p><p>Hiccup instead placed his hand on Toothless’s nose.</p><p>“Can I stay seated or…?” Hiccup asked.</p><p>“You’re fine where you are, lad,” Gobber said, having chosen to stand up and stand near Hiccup. “Let’s get this nonsense over with.” He then spoke to the Hall: “The way I see it, Hiccup was merely telling Spitelout to leave Snotlout alone and to respect his say on the matter, what Spitelout chose to do after that, the dying, is on Spitelout.”</p><p>Astrid was the first one to shout, “Agreed!”</p><p>Toothless on Hiccup’s other side roared in agreement.</p><p>There were numerous other Hooligan tribe members expressing their agreement with this.</p><p>The twins had managed to get several people to agree that Hiccup indeed was at least witchcraft-adjacent.</p><p>Five and a half minutes after the trial had started, it was over.</p><p>“So, it looks like the tribe finds Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III guilty of both murder and witchcraft with regards to Spitelout Jorgenson,” Stoick said. “But the tribe is fairly happy about this.”</p><p>A pause while multiple people exclaimed things:</p><p>“Again, he was a jerk! Good riddance!”</p><p>“I’m quite happy to be a widow! Hiccup did me a favor!”</p><p>“Hiccup is a good lad!”</p><p>A dragon roar from a certain Night Fury.</p><p>“So, there is technically no sentence for either,” Stoick continued. “Just the tribe’s gratitude, and it seems like we are not concerned with Hiccup’s association with witchcraft, so that sentence is waived.”</p><p>“Hiccup being magic is awesome!” Tuffnut exclaimed.</p><p>The tribe cheered.</p>
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